How do you give up dieting without giving up on your health? This seems to be the question on everybody’s mind right now. Lately I’ve been going all in with how much I hate diet culture. I’ve been posting a lot about how you don’t have to “get on the wagon” and how diets don’t work. I adamantly stand by my claim that achieving your “goal weight” does not automatically mean that your body image issues are over. It also does not automatically make you healthy. And I get that you have questions.

Maybe you’re not ready to give up dieting just yet.

Actually, I know that many of you are not ready to give it up. I know this because in the past few days alone the following things have happened:

• A potential new client cancelled a consultation call with me because she decided she “wasn’t ready for intuitive eating yet.”
• A current client confessed to me that she was having more trouble giving up dieting than she initially thought she would because she fears becoming the person in the “before” photo again.
• I received multiple DM’s and comments from women seeking advice because they wanted to give up dieting but they just didn’t feel right at a higher weight.

Honestly, all of this is ok!

Actually, it’s pretty normal. What I want you to know is that in spite of the fact that I’m anti-diet, I’m not against you if you’re still kind of on board with it. I’m here to hold space for you and help you figure this stuff out. Especially if there’s even one tiny part of you that wants to opt out of diet culture. I firmly believe that everyone needs to have their own “F this, I’m done” moment with dieting.

I’m here to help you figure out how to pursue fitness and health without obsessing over your weight or pants size.

Because yes, it is 100% possible. Here are a couple of tough love truths that you should you know as you begin this journey.

In order to stop bingeing you need to stop restricting.

Restricting your food will almost always lead to bingeing sooner or later. If you feel out of control around food it’s not your fault. It’s the diet. And diets are sneaky.

Sometimes when you think you’re not dieting you actually still are.

If don’t see yourself happily sustaining your “lifestyle change” for the rest of your life (no “cheat days” needed) it’s a diet in disguise.

working out should never feel like a punishment.

Exercising from a place of guilt and shame is no way to create sustainable habits when it comes to working out. You can work out hard or choose something less intense, but it’s the intention behind it that matters most.

A “healthy weight” looks different on everybody.

Your best weight is the one you reach when you’re living the healthiest life that you actually enjoy. (I might have stolen that quote from someone, but it’s true!)

We, as A society have health aSS-backwards.

If you adopt some healthier habits, you might lose weight as a result. (Or maybe not?) But it’s not the weight loss itself that makes you healthier, it’s the behaviors.

Losing weight does not guarantee that you’ll “love your body”.

Being thinner won’t automatically make you more confident. That involves a lot of mindset work around your body image, which is separate from working on your relationship with food and exercise.

Giving up dieting does not mean “letting yourself go”.

Quite the opposite. It creates space in your life for you to pursue bigger, more meaningful goals. It helps you pursue health and fitness based on what you really want and how you really feel instead of using external cues and societal expectations.

All of this $hit is hard work. But if you think you’re ready to get started on this path keep reading.

I mean it when I say it’s hard work. Especially when our entire society at large is literally a part of diet culture. It will probably take you years. It happens in layers. But if you’re ready to get started, here are a few steps you absolutely need to take.

Read up.

If you’re going to truly shift your mindset around weight and health, you need to understand the science behind it. And the systems of oppression that are making you feel bad about your body in the first place. Read the following books: “Health At Every Size” by Lindo Bacon and/or “Body Respect” by Lindo Bacon and Lucy Aphramor, and “Intuitive Eating” by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. Start there, and then keep going down the rabbit hole. “Anti-Diet” by Christy Harrison, “The Fuck It Diet” by Caroline Dooner, “The Body Is Not An Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor and “The Beauty Myth” by Naomi Wolf were also huge game changers for me, personally. And this is only the tip of the iceberg!

Curate your life.

Unfollow health and fitness accounts that trigger you into old habits of restriction. This includes anyone who posts before/after photos or publicly shares about their diet. Start to see if you can call out diet culture messages when you see them on TV, movies, advertising, etc. Spend more time with people who are living their best lives free diet-free and support you on your journey.

Get rid of your scale and your tape measure.

I know you’re gonna want to fight me on this one. But just do it. In the same impulsive way that Miranda threw the cake in the trash on that one episode of Sex & The City. Pour soap on it if you have to. Don’t look back. You’ll have an easier time focusing on how your habits are making you feel if you aren’t letting your weight take the forefront.

Get yourself some Support!

You shouldn’t have to do this alone. If it’s in your budget, consider hiring a coach. Whether you want to tackle your relationship with exercise or food or body image, there are people who specialize in helping you with this sort of thing. Many coaches (like me) also offer free resources like blog posts and podcasts. Start there!

Focus on how you want to feel.

Feeling “fat” is usually our way of saying that we feel some sort of discomfort in our lives. When you focus on how you want to feel you can start to do the things that help get you there. We automatically jump to the “must lose weight” conclusion when we aren’t feeling our best. When in reality what you might need is: some sleep, a day off, to start working out again, a vegetable, a night out with friends, a shower, or a visit to your therapist.

Trust the process and let the pendulum swing.

A lot of times when you hear about things like Health At Every Size, Body Positivity, or Intuitive Eating, its accompanied by pictures of people eating donuts. You’re encouraged to take time off from working out. While these things are valid, it doesn’t have to mean that you will only eat dessert and never work out again. This is often described as a pendulum swing, and for awhile, yes, you might find yourself eating more foods you had previously restricted or exercising a bit less. In time though, you’ll find that you shift back to a middle ground where you willingly eat salads AND cake. You’ll also find yourself craving movement in a way that feels good for you. This takes time but it’s SO worth it.

REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN STILL SET HEALTH & FITNESS GOALS WITHOUT HYPERFOCUSING ON WEIGHT.

You may have heard people say things like “health is not a moral obligation” and while you don’t owe anyone health, you aren’t necessarily embracing diet culture if you decide you want to pursue health or fitness related goals. In fact, when you’re ready, that’s exactly what I’m here to help you do. When you let go of focusing on exercise for the sake of earning food or burning calories, you’re able to open up to so many new kinds of goals to set.

I want to remind you that this isn’t the easy way out.

Learning to let go of diet culture is hard work. It’s also daily work, kind of like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. But eventually as you start to reprogram your brain and your body it becomes easier. A part of who you are. And you don’t have to think about it so much. Which is awesome because it frees up so much time and space in your mind to do bigger and better things with your life.

You were meant to do so much more than lose and regain the same XXX lbs year after year.

I hate to burst your bubble, but if that diet/”lifestyle change” has not worked the past 20 times, this is NOT going to be the one. You might not be completely on board with this whole anti-diet thing just yet, but if you’re tired of doing the same thing and not seeing the long-term results you want, maybe it’s worth trying something different?

Wanna get better at push-ups? Whether you’re trying to get your first one without using your knees, training to beat the entire patriarchy in a push-up contest, or just create better memories around push-ups than 5th grade gym class gave you, this program will help get you there.