12 True Confessions of a Personal Trainer
So many personal trainers (and people who think they are) act like this fitness thing is SO easy. That anyone who doesn’t meet their definition of “in good shape” is lazy or undisciplined.
“If I can do it, you can do it!”
“It’s just calories in and calories out.”
“You just don’t want it bad enough.”
#noexcuses
I’m over it.
They lead us to believe that if we all just work out like they do and eat like they do that we’ll all have 6 pack abs and perfect butts and a thigh gap? I don’t even know what body parts are trendy anymore. I don’t care. All I know is that I need to shine a light on some of the bullshit.
Often times, I have assumptions made about me, by those who don’t know me well.
“You didn’t gain much weight during pregnancy because you’re disciplined.”
“You look good because you work hard on yourself.”
“You eat so healthy all the time.”
Ummm no. There’s more to it than that.
So much more than what people are telling you when they post their latest workout or bikini photos. Most personal trainers won’t share this stuff, but today I’m going to. I can only speak for myself, but I know a lot of people in the fitness industry and am 100% certain that many of these confessions are also true for others.
But before we get into it, let’s talk about the “P” word, shall we?
No, not “personal trainers”.
PRIVILEGE.
This word makes a lot of people get defensive. But the truth of the matter is, having privilege doesn’t mean that you haven’t struggled, that you don’t work hard, or that you’ve had everything handed to you. It just means that there are certain factors (race, size, gender, sexual orientation, age, socioeconomic status, ability, etc. etc. etc.) that do NOT make things any harder for you. We all have each of these factors working for or against us to varying degrees.
To put it bluntly, I happen to have pretty much every privilege except a dick.
So I want to share how that plays out for me in my life and fitness. Things that not all personal trainers or wellness gurus will tell you. Not because I’m trying to brag about my life. So that you’ll have some more background info about why things may look a certain way for the fitness professionals you follow, but different for you.
1. It’s easy for me to work out because I literally work at a gym and have active jobs.
Even if I don’t have time for a structured workout myself, I still spend most of my days on my feet, teaching classes and training clients. It’s baked into my work. And when I’m done for the day I don’t have to decide whether or not I’m gonna go to the gym because I’m already there! I even get to work out for free. 3 barriers removed right there.
2. I look the way I do mostly because of genetics.
If you look at my family, most people are in smaller/medium sized bodies. Even those who don’t work out. A lot of personal trainers are in a similar situation. It doesn’t mean we don’t work hard. We just have a lot of odds stacked in our favor.
3. The size difference between me eating super “clean” and eating whatever I want is pretty insignificant.
In my dieting days, I used to get frustrated that I was never able to lose much weight, but the truth of the matter is, I never fluctuated much in either direction. I pretty much eat whatever I want now and am only slightly less thin/lean when I was restricting. Like I said above. Genetics.
4. When I was a few sizes smaller, I had an eating disorder/disordered eating but masked it as being “healthy”.
I think a lot of fitness/wellness influencers do this, to be honest. It’s easy to play the part of “the healthy one” on the internet. Especially if you don’t get alarmingly skinny. There are a lot of personal trainers out there pretending that they’re happy and healthy, but they’re actually sick and miserable.
5. I’ve always felt pretty welcome in fitness spaces.
Aside from having to deal with the occasional gym bro/mansplainer, I’ve never felt unwelcome at the gym. I can pretty much assume that when I go there will be others who look like me. People aren’t going to make assumptions or pass judgements based on my size or anything else. That makes it easy for me to show up.
6. Kinesthetic awareness is a natural intelligence of mine.
This is true for many people who pursue movement based careers, I think. It’s easy for me to connect my mind and body, and movement comes naturally to me. There are all sorts of things I am NOT good at. For example, I’m not detail oriented and terrible at math. But everyone glorifies fitness (AKA thinness) as the most important quality a person can have. So the fact that I still don’t know my multiplication facts slides under the radar.
7. I enjoy working out.
Probably because of the above? So it’s easy for me to prioritize it. It’s fun for me, so I’m more likely to do it. I can’t say the same for things that other functioning adults do: like doing my taxes, remembering to get an oil change, keeping track of passwords, or even baking.
8. I can afford to pay for fitness programs and nutritious food.
I’m not trying to brag about my income here, just being transparent. The cost of “healthy” food and fitness can add up. Even at my brokest, I still had enough money for a gym membership. I live in an area that’s near multiple grocery stores that sell organic/natural/whole foods, and if I want some I don’t give much thought to the price difference. This is a privilege, not a given.
9. I don’t always eat that healthy.
These days I think I have a pretty healthy relationship with food (thanks Intuitive Eating) but I also don’t avoid any foods. I enjoy things like fruits and vegetables, but I also had pizza and chicken wings for dinner last night. Definitely plan on having dessert later. I won’t judge you if you do too. 😉
10. I grew up being active.
I also majored in dance in college. So when other kids might have been playing the piano, watching TV, or babysitting their siblings, I had a gymnastics coach who was making me do push-ups. While others were studying hard for their chemistry exam, I was attending hours of dance classes and settling for a “D for done/D for diploma” in the subjects that I found hard or boring. Without realizing it, I’ve literally been training my whole life for this. That gives me an advantage.
11. I know what I’m doing at the gym because this is literally my job.
I never have to question what to do at the gym because it’s my job to know. So I don’t have to think too hard about what to do, find classes to attend, or hire a trainer–I can just do it. That saves me a ton of time and mental energy when it comes to working out.
12. I had a relatively easy pregnancy that made staying active easier too.
Felt the need to throw this in as a bonus, because I’ve been getting a lot of praise for not gaining a ton of weight in pregnancy. There’s a lot that plays into this (genetics again?) but I didn’t have to deal with half the issues that many pregnant people do–preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, bed rest, etc. etc. etc. In my case, it’s less about discipline, and more about luck. I also think the fact that I went into pregnancy as a normal eater helped a lot too–more on that soon.
Am I missing anything here?
I’m sure I probably am. But I hope that you’ll remember these things the next time you see me post a workout or imagine how disciplined I must be compared to you. Or any time you try to compare yourself to anyone on the internet. They’re not telling you what’s been going on behind the scenes.
Maybe it’s discipline? Maybe it’s privilege.
This does not negate the hard work that I HAVE put in over the years. It just showcases the other factors that have helped to propel me even further. Fellow personal trainers, I encourage you to consider this for yourself, and how it affects how you show up for your clients and the assumptions you make about others. Share your own confessions freely and help create a kinder, more real fitness industry.
