I’m just gonna come right out and say it: #noexcuses is lazy coaching in my opinion.

I get so annoyed when I see people using this hashtag or posting memes about it. I get it. We’re all supposed to be more disciplined or something. As a trainer, I’m supposed to put my best face forward as someone who never misses a workout so that all my clients will wanna be just like me. If I don’t make space for any of their excuses, they’ll all have no choice but to fall in line and be 100% compliant with their training plan. Right??

WRONG.

This couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve seen it time and time again. Many of my clients seem to come to me after they’ve tried everything else. They’ve done it all. And then they’ve done nothing. Usually accompanied by a side of guilt. Then somewhere along the way they find me and get the feeling that I’m not super judgey (they’re right) and that maybe they’d like to try this whole fitness thing one more time.

I tell my clients that I actually want to hear their excuses. I do!

In fact it’s a big part of the kind of coaching that I do. It promotes an open relationship where we can talk about what’s going on with them in a judgement free way. I want my clients to feel like they don’t have to hide anything from me. For them to understand that I am a human and allow them to be real humans too.

Are some excuses bullshit? Sure they are.

And sometimes you might need someone to call you out on that in a loving way. But some excuses are actual barriers that we can work around. Naming them can open an opportunity to think about how you might approach things differently to feel more successful. Some excuses are valid. Here’s why I want to hear yours.

Shame thrives in the dark.

I think it was Brené Brown who I first heard say something like this, but it’s true. When you shine a light on shame and are honest about where you are, it feels so much better! How many times in the past have you done something you didn’t want your trainer to know about? Then you avoided them or lied about it for fear of what they would say? That doesn’t help you get any closer to your goals. Plus, when you share what’s going on with you with another empathetic person (hopefully your coach) you might realize that you’re not alone in your struggle.

Excuses can give you clues about what’s not working.

They’re an important sign that you may need change your expectations or try to do things differently. For example if you keep skipping morning workouts because you’re tired, a response of “No excuses!” from your trainer will leave you continuously trying and failing at the same goal. But if we dig a little deeper, we might actually discover that either: A. You are sleep deprived and we probably need to work on that habit first. B. You aren’t a morning person but would do great with a lunchtime or evening workout.

Your excuses can show you the truth about what’s actually important to you.

They’re an sign that you may need to re-evaluate your goals and how they align with your values. Sometimes we set “should” goals. Like decide we need to run a half marathon because running is what “fit” people do, right? But if you can’t get motivated to train for it, it might be worth a second look. Maybe YOU actually don’t care about running and need to find a different activity. Or maybe you’d be more likely to do it if it were attached to a charity or cause that you cared about?

Talking through your excuses can help you figure out the difference between an excuse and an actual barrier.

Sometimes it’s an easy fix. Like maybe you think you don’t have time to get to the gym. And if your gym is 30 minutes away and you’re expecting yourself to do an hour workout 5 days a week, you probably don’t actually have time for that! But there are ways to remove that barrier: joining a different gym, working out from home a few days a week, or giving yourself permission to let a shorter workout “count” are just a few examples. We could have this conversation around almost any excuse you have!

Is your trainer doing this kind of coaching for you? Or just telling you “no excuses”? 

They should be! And that’s exactly the kind of coaching I strive to provide my clients. Because your mindset and relationship with exercise need to be in a solid place if you want your habits to be sustainable long-term. “No excuses” is a phrase that can keep you stuck in an all-or-nothing mindset. But talking through it can help you figure out what truly works for you.

Wanna get better at push-ups? Whether you’re trying to get your first one without using your knees, training to beat the entire patriarchy in a push-up contest, or just create better memories around push-ups than 5th grade gym class gave you, this program will help get you there.