10 Ways To Improve your Relationship With Exercise
I am a proud fitness professional. I love my jobs. Yet I’m the first to admit that there is a whole lot of BS in the fitness industry.
Whether you work or play in the land of fitness, it can sometimes make you feel like crap about yourself if you let it. A few years ago I had what I like to call the “F this, I’m done” moment when it came to trying to micromanage the shape and size of my body. If you know anything about my story, you know that a failed elimination diet ultimately became my last diet ever. Some health issues (in spite of my obsession with my health and weight) forced me to take a good hard look at the way I was living my life. This led me to the conclusion that I had no choice but to work on trying to “love my body”.
Unfortunately, that phrase kinda makes me wanna gag. And it’s really hard when you participate in activities that judge your competence by the way that you look.
As I started diving into the whole “body positivity” movement, I encountered a lot of talk of eating donuts without care and giving up exercise entirely. I learned about all the ways the fitness industry is a part of diet culture. And while I did need to chill out on the workouts and allow myself to eat a donut once in awhile, I wasn’t interested in giving up exercise altogether or forever.
Besides, working out was basically my job.
It still is. I genuinely love moving in all sorts of ways and would continue to do it even if it had no effect on my physical appearance. As a personal trainer, yoga teacher, and dance teacher, I saw so much good in the fitness industry in spite of all the things that kind of pissed me off. I hated seeing those before/after photos, but I loved that exercise put me in a better mood after I was done with it. Fitness instructors who talked about getting my “summer body” ready got on my last nerve, but I still thought the classes they taught were really fun. I knew my relationship with exercise was pretty messed up, but I wasn’t in a place to start a whole new career path. What was a girl to do?
It seemed that everyone was talking about repairing your relationship with food and your body, but nobody was dealing with the exercise piece.
Or so I thought. Enter me. And apparently the many other friends I’d proceed to meet through the internet over the next few years. As it turns out, you really can have your cake & eat it too (and not feel like you have to burn it off later!). It’s possible to enjoy all the awesome benefits that go along with working out without having to deal with all the fat shamey bull$hit.
Want some ideas for how to get started?
1. Ditch your fitbit.
Or whatever tracking device you use. Yes, I know they have all sorts of cool features now like monitoring your sleep. I know your grandma got it for you for your birthday. Sure, there’s a chance that you might be able to look at the info it gives you as neutral data. But I’m willing to bet that it’s causing you to judge yourself for how much or how little you move and hijacking your ability to decide what you actually need. Fitbits also don’t count kettlebell swings, and those are my favorite. Or maybe they do now? Don’t know, don’t care.
2. Try a different Coach/Trainer/instructor.
Or try a bunch. If you’re into group fitness, treat each class as a job interview. You are a paying customer. Ask around for recommendations. I know that’s a lot of work to put in, but it’s so worth it. When it comes to fitness professionals, each one is a little different. For every one who tells you have have to “earn your candy” there’s a growing number who would never dream of saying that sort of thing. (Hi! Pick me!!) We’re not just at special body positive gyms that exist only in major cities. We’re hiding out at mainstream places too. Come find us!
3. If You Hear fat shamey things, Say something.
If you’re brave. I realize that this can be 10x harder if you’re in a larger body. This could be a great job for your outspoken thin friend if they’re up for it. If you’re like me and don’t like uncomfortable conversations, you can also voice your opinion in other ways. Like emailing a manager. Posting to social media. Sharing a blog post that addresses your feelings. Or send me a message and tell me all about it. As much as I hate that this is a thing, I’m also here to listen. And it provides me with fuel for future posts. 😉
4. Find something you love to do.
I used to always and only do the elliptical at the gym. Not just any elliptical. There was a certain one that burned more calories than the others. Guess what? I really never liked the elliptical after all. I just didn’t know what to do instead. Just because an activity doesn’t give you an exact amount of calories burned doesn’t mean it doesn’t “count”. Screw calories. What sounds like fun? What makes you happy? Go try that some different things til you figure it out.
5. Consider strength training.
I am biased because I think strength training is awesome. But I know many people who have seen some really significant changes in their confidence and body image when they learned that they could pick up heavy stuff. Heavy is, of course, a relative term. If you’re not sure what to do, strength training may be worth a try. If possible, I highly recommend some 1:1 work with a coach to teach you some basics if you’re new. But many gyms also offer classes and small group training that’s more budget friendly.
6. Take a rest.
Sometimes improving your relationship with exercise requires a bit of a break. For some people that might mean taking some time off from organized workouts altogether. I know this can sound scary AF. But there’s a power that you can find when you get to the other side of this and realize that your whole world didn’t fall apart the way you thought it might. It’s ok to rest. And when you’re ready to come back to working out, the break might be just what you needed to bust out of old patterns and start to see things in a new way.
7. Switch It Up
Another, more moderate option would be to switch up what you’re doing altogether. It’s hard to feel different about working out when you’re stuck in your usual routine. Switching gyms, choosing a new hobby, or even just focusing on outdoor activities instead of organized exercise (biking, walking, etc.) can be a big game changer. Any activity can be self-care or self-destruction, it’s all in how you look at it.
8. Question the status quo
Have you ever stopped to question why we do the things we do in the name of health and fitness? Start asking! Why do all the people in fitness ads look the same? Why do we automatically assume that thinner is healthier? Can you find people who don’t look like fitness models doing amazing things with their bodies? Screw shoulds. It doesn’t make a difference if you think “nobody wants to see you in a crop top”. What do YOU want?
9. Set a goal that has nothing to do with your weight.
Or changing your body in any way. Sometimes we feel like we don’t know how to measure our progress if we’re not losing weight or “getting toned” or whatever. While I’m not suggesting that replacing the number on the scale with the amount of weight you can lift as a long term solution, it can certainly be a stepping stone. And it’s fun to see what your body can do!
10. seek Out Body Positive Fitness Professionals.
For real. Please. I will never stop sharing ways to find us. Because it makes everyone’s life happier. Today my new-ish client (13 sessions in) thanked me for “not judging her or her body”. My response? I thanked her for being a dream client. I wish that I didn’t have to try to convince people that there’s a better way to look at fitness. If you’re ready to work out with someone who is gonna make you feel amazing, are some great places to look: Body Positive Fitness Alliance, Superfit Hero’s Body Positive Fitness Finder, Yoga For All.
I hope these suggestions helped you find some new ways to think about your workouts. Leave a comment below and let me know which one you’re most excited to try!
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