How to be a “happy” person (when you are actually a hot mess)
Within the past week alone, I’ve had multiple people comment on my apparent happiness. I actually had one of my yoga students thank me the other day when I ran into him at the studio. The funny thing was, I didn’t even teach his class that day–I was just there practicing. When I asked him why he was thanking me, he said it was because I’m always so upbeat and positive. This is a common occurrence for me. It makes sense. I mean, I wear polka dotted gym shoes and carry a bright yellow purse! My bicycle is named Betty and she has a basket and Disney princess bell. I tap dance, post videos of it, and hashtag it #tappyishappy. When I get angry I smile as I yell at people. I am….the most happy lady in the world!
OR am I?
The truth, is what most people see is my highlight reel. I post a filtered picture of my beautiful black bean pasta salad–not the fact that I ate it (3 days old) for dinner tonight standing up at my kitchen counter. Or the serendipitous picture from my run, without the background info that the whole reason I went on said run was because I was stressed AF. When people ask how I am, I say “good”. Nobody really wants to hear about my never ending to-do list, or that utterly disappointing email I just got. And in regards to my students who think I am so full of positive energy? Well nobody would come to my class if I was giving off all the negative vibes, so I show up with a smile.
Point being, while I generally consider myself to be, as Gretchen Rubin would say, more of a “Tigger” than an “Eeyore”, it’s not all sunshine and roses for me 24/7. Sure, I have pretty good life, and have a lot to be grateful for, but I’m actually NOT happy all the time. Far from it. And I’d like to take the time to tell you that it’s TOTALLY OK to not be. So if you were ever dying to know the secret to being a “happy” person, here are some of my favorite suggestions for how to bring a little more cheer into your life…AND the behind the scenes of how to be a bit of a hot mess while doing it. Because the only thing the world needs more of besides love, sweet love, is people who keep it real.
How to be a “happy” person (when you are actually a hot mess):
1. Happy: Get some exercise in most days of the week to get those endorphins flowing.
Hot Mess: Be almost late to your yoga class because you were doing something stupid like emptying the dishwasher and have no concept of time.
2. Happy: Wear adorably matching brightly colored clothing to match your sunny personality.
Hot Mess: Re-wash your clothes because you forgot about them in the washing machine for 2 days and now they smell like mildew. Run them through the dryer again (against the advice from the girl at Lululemon) because you are too lazy to iron out the wrinkles.
3. Happy: Always have a fresh coat of polish on your fingers and toes.
Hot Mess: Apply said coat of polish to your nails in your (parked?) car right before you walk into a restaurant or work or wherever, and try really hard not to smudge one.
4. Happy: Have an organic garden in your backyard where you grow your own fruits and vegetables.
Hot Mess: Forget to tend to the garden for a few weeks and then realize you actually have more weeds than kale, and the rabbits ate most of your tomatoes and strawberries.
5. Happy: Adopt a cute dog that you cuddle with and take selfies with constantly.
Hot Mess: Clean pee off your kitchen floor at least twice a day because the dog gets so excited every time he sees you.
6. Happy: Write out your morning routine goals to include things like journaling, meditation, and drinking green tea. #killinit
Hot Mess: Lay in bed till the last possible second scrolling through Facebook on your phone. Leave just enough time to make yourself a coffee to go. Later, spill some on yourself in the car.
7. Happy: Meditate by the lakefront on a gorgeous summer day.
Hot Mess: Get startled out of your zen state when a teenage lifeguard blows a whistle at you. She tells you that you’re not allowed to sit on the rocks. Leave agitated.
8. Happy: Keep in touch with your oldest and dearest friends.
Hot Mess: Cancel plans with them the day of, because you just need some time to “get your life together”. Call them a few hours later because you’re on the verge of a meltdown.
Doesn’t it feel good to keep it real?
Or at least know that even people who seem to have it all together have rough days sometimes? I like to joke about it, but the truth is, we could all use a little…well…more of the truth. We don’t always know the whole story behind all the people in our lives, and social media makes it even easier to curate our lives though a rose tinted filter. So many of us walk around assuming something is wrong with us if we feel sad or angry. We feel like we need to snap out of it immediately. As if it’s not ok to cry or yell or just mope around and be a brat for no good reason. But it IS OK. We all do it. Even girls in their 30’s who rock pigtails and polka dotted gym shoes. Today, embrace your inner hot mess. And then OWN it and leave a comment below so we can all feel a little more real together.
