I don’t wanna “get my body back”. I wanna move FORWARD. And I wanna talk about why. Because of all the things people have said to me as a newly postpartum person, this has come up the most often.
From my well-meaning friends:
“You’ll bounce right back in no time because you’re so fit!”
(So are you gonna judge me if I don’t “get my body back” by the next time we hang out?)
From my family:
“You look great! You barely even have any weight to lose!”
(Thanks for noticing. Wanna hold my baby so I can shower and eat a sandwich uninterrupted?)
From my OBGYN:
“Give it at least a year to get your body back, be patient.”
(Did I even say I wanted that? How ’bout you talk to me about pelvic floor recovery or tell me to come back if I start peeing my pants when I go for a run?)
Confession: Pregnancy was always one of my biggest fears in life.
In fact, getting through to the other side has brought me the greatest sense of relief in a way. There are a number of reasons that I’ve felt this way, but I think one of my biggest concerns has always been the lack of control you face. Which is really one of the biggest factors when it comes to things negative body image, disordered eating and exercise obsession. All things I have known too well in my life.
After spending years working on my own relationship with food, exercise, and my body, I feel like I finally came to a place of acceptance.
A place of stability and predictability. Not necessarily control, but a place of ease. What would pregnancy do to shake that up? How would my body change? What would eating be like? How would it feel to NOT being able to move my body in the same ways? Was all the work I had done conditional?
I don’t think it was.
While I’ve said before that I am so grateful to have had a relatively “easy” pregnancy experience, I think that much of it was a result of the work that I did to give up diet culture before I got pregnant.
I am SO glad I did.
And because I chose to question this idea and all the bullshit societal standards that are pushed on women, I feel like I’m able to move forward instead of trying to “get my body back”.
Here are some of the other cool things that happened during and after my pregnancy as a result of rejecting this narrative.
I felt pretty chill around food the whole time.
This is perhaps one of the perks of being an intuitive eater. I was already used to honoring my hunger/fullness/cravings. I didn’t go nuts on “forbidden” foods or feel like I had an excuse to “eat for two”. I had permission to eat way before that.
I was able to exercise in a way that felt like self-care.
And in a way that didn’t cause harm to me or my baby down the line. I was able to move in a way that felt good–sometimes bike rides, sometimes strength training, sometimes yoga (mostly cow pose to stretch my poor ribcage). Never from a place of trying to compensate for what I ate.
I was able to see body changes as a neutral part of the process.
Pregnancy is inevitably gonna cause changes. It’s part of the process, just like any other stage of life. I didn’t have to love it. I didn’t have to judge it. It just was. It is what it is. It’s fine.
I didn’t obsess over weight gain.
In fact, I have no idea how much weight I gained at all because I didn’t ask. It really doesn’t matter. I trust my weight to do what it needs to do when I’m taking the best care of myself and actually enjoying my life. (You can too!)
I knew what sorts of care providers I need to have in place postpartum.
Because I was subscribing to the sort of “health” that is all encompassing. I know, hire, follow, and associate with the kind of wellness providers who know that true health is about more than your weight or pants size. They’re also talking about things like mental health, pelvic floor physical therapy, and how I can safely get back to my goal of PR-ing my overhead press again soon.
I know what sorts of messages are harmful to look out for.
Like shitty “coaches” who are trying to prey on my insecurities like “Hey girl hey!” in my DM’s right before they try to sell me shakes and waist trainers.
I had the courage to call out unwanted body commentary instead of just putting up with it.
Unfortunately, I think this is something that a lot of people just put up with when they’re pregnant. Lucky for me, I’ve been calling this stuff out all along. I had no problem telling multiple people to shove it and would do it again in a second.
I’m able to see this as a “season” in my life.
Particularly when it comes to fitness. I’m not as strong as I was before I had a baby and that’s ok. I work out because I enjoy the process of strength training, not because I need to make sure my skinny jeans fit by a certain date and then I’m done. I’m always telling my clients that peaks and valleys in your fitness are normal. This also applies to me.
I questioned unrealistic standards of pregnancy and parenthood and began to carve my own path.
Because when you start to question unrealistic beauty standards, that seems to also transfer over to things. Like how you feed your baby or whether or not you go back to work.
I know that it’s ok if I don’t “love my body” postpartum.
To be honest, I’m not super enthused about whatever is going on in that department. I don’t have to be. I don’t have to choose between “love my body” or “get my body back”. I can just move forward. To whatever badass thing awaits me next.
Wanna get better at push-ups? Whether you’re trying to get your first one without using your knees, training to beat the entire patriarchy in a push-up contest, or just create better memories around push-ups than 5th grade gym class gave you, this program will help get you there.
