To say that I have a strong dislike for the scale would be putting it lightly. I haven’t owned one for at least 3 years. When I go to the doctor, I request not to be weighed, and if they insist, I face backwards. If I hear someone mention getting on a scale I have to bite my tongue to avoid shouting “SCALES ARE STUPID!” I also happen to think BMI is BS.

Weight does not show the whole picture when it comes to accounting for someone’s health, fitness, body composition, OR worthiness as a person.

So why do we invest so much of our worth in a number?

I did it for far too long, and found that I felt so much better in my body when I stopped focusing on it altogether. I highly recommend this for anyone who struggles with body image, a history of yo-yo dieting, and any sort of disordered relationship with food and exercise. Actually, I highly recommend it for EVERYONE. Why? I’ll say it again.

Your weight has nothing to do with how good of a person you are.

It fluctuates often, based on so many factors. To try to micromanage it is a waste of time and energy. I KNOW THIS. Yet, a few weeks ago, I found myself freaking out when I had to face that number for the first time in a long time. Because as it turns out, there are a few select circumstances in life when it’s necessary to know your weight. Like weight class based sports, for example. That’s how I got myself into this situation.

It caught me completely off guard. I was feeling pretty great that morning. I had been training for months for the StrongFirst SFG Level 1 kettlebell certification. Which means that all of my recent workouts had been centered around mastering skills, focusing on form, and building strength. The kettlebell I had to test with was based on my weight. Fine. I knew approximately where I fell in the weight divisions (the higher of the two options for women) and had been practicing with the appropriate sized kettlebell. I was ready. I just wasn’t ready to have to step on a scale and verify my weight.

“Ummmmmm hello? Is there even a question here? I’m not even gonna try to pretend like I only weigh XXXlbs. Can you just trust me here and send me on my way?”

Except when you’re dealing with the people who have the power to pass/fail your certification you don’t say that. You shut your mouth and get on the scale and don’t make a scene. So I did. DAMN. That number was the highest I’d ever seen. Not at all what I’d expected. I’m embarrassed to say, but I let it affect my mood for a good portion of the morning.

I can’t possibly the only person who’s not super chill with getting weighed in public right??

It didn’t seem like anyone else in kettlebell land was too bothered by it (maybe I need to hang out with these people more??) So I spent my lunch break texting with a few friends, and followed up with a call to my sister. A lot of what they said was helpful. Other parts, not so much.

Maybe you’ve heard things like this before from your friends and family:

“You’re NOT fat!”

(Yes. I know. But what if I was? Would it still be ok?)

“It’s ok! It’s all muscle. What do you expect when you lift weights all the time? Muscle weighs more than fat.”

(Yes. This might be the case. But what if it’s not from pressing kettlebells over my head? What if it’s from putting mini brie bites in my mouth? Would THAT still be ok?)

“But you’re strong AF!”

(Yeah. But what if I wasn’t? Is it only ok to weigh more if I’m super fit?)

I realized something important that day:

If we want to get past the number on the scale, we can’t avoid seeing it forever. Eventually we will probably have to face it, whether it’s our choice to look or we see it by accident. AND we have to stop putting conditions around the idea of weight gain if we want to truly make peace with it.

IT’S FINE.

No matter what anybody else told you, or what you’re telling yourself, I want you to know that it’s all OK. Yes, you’re allowed to be upset. But ultimately you are going to be fine. Whether that number is due to lifting a lot of weights or eating a lot of waffles.

Friends only making you feel kinda better?

Here are 10 more things to help you deal:

1. Ask yourself: what would you have to do to make that number different? Is it worth it?

Most of the time, the things we have to do to suppress our weight are NOT worth it OR healthy. AND they usually don’t even work anyway.

2. Remember that you still get to eat.

Don’t resign yourself to a super restrictive diet. Because when we do that, it’s only a matter of time before things swing back in the other direction. What would you have eaten before you knew that number? You can still have it.

3. Think back to How you felt before you saw your weight.

Your weight can’t ruin your day unless you let it. If you were in a good mood before, know that you WILL feel good again once you let the initial sting die down.

4. Remember that If people do judge you, they are A$$holes.

Yes, some people might notice. But the people who really matter don’t care. Know that anyone who says anything about it is ignorant. (And probably struggling with their own body image too!)

5. Remind yourself that nobody knows that number but you.

Ok, except maybe the person who needed to take your weight in the first place. But for the most part, I think most of us have better things to do than play the “estimation jar” game with other people’s weight. You don’t have to walk around with it written on your forehead.

6. Own it.

Many people in the fat-acceptance community are reclaiming the word “fat” as a neutral descriptor. I’m NOT saying you should call yourself fat if you actually aren’t. Seriously DON’T do that. But you can take the attitude of “Yeah. I weight XXXlbs. Whatever.” Because seriously. It’s whatever.

7. Start to deconstruct your own beliefs about weight and things like worth, health, & fitness.

Get curious about your beliefs. Ask questions. If you start to seek it out, you’ll begin to find people breaking weight related stereotypes all over the place.

8. Notice the beauty in people who look like you AND ALso people who don’t.

Sometime’s it’s just easier to accept our perceived flaws when we see them in another person. And when we notice the good in others who look nothing like us, we realize that we all aren’t meant to look (or weigh) the same in the first place.

9. Wear things that make you feel good.

It’s hard to feel good in your body if you don’t even feel comfortable in your clothes. Now is the time to wear your favorite outfit. That means things that fit well, feel good, favorite colors, etc. Resist the urge to squeeze yourself into the tiniest pants you own (been there).

10. Focus on the important things.

What were you going to do before you got sidetracked by the number on the scale? What were you thinking about? That stuff is still important. Go do THAT!

And finally, don’t let it get in the way of you living your life!

You don’t have to hide from the world. You can still do whatever you were planning on doing before you saw that number. Your strengths and talents are still your own! For me, on that particular weekend, the important thing was learning how to safely teach people to use kettlebells. And to take good care of my body so I could pass the physical portion of the test at the end of the weekend. (P.S.-I did)

Here’s what I really want you to know:

As much as I want all the scales in the world to get smashed and have weight not be a thing that weighs us down, I still let it get to me from time to time too. I get it. I understand what it’s like to look down at the scale and be shocked and appalled by the number you see. AND I know it’s possible to be happy, healthy, and comfortable in your own skin in spite of what that number is.

What if it wasn’t about weight loss?

Lately I’ve been coming back to this idea again and again. This might sound like a surprising theory coming from a fitness professional, but I believe that a mindset shift just might be the missing piece we’ve all been searching for.

Wanna get better at push-ups? Whether you’re trying to get your first one without using your knees, training to beat the entire patriarchy in a push-up contest, or just create better memories around push-ups than 5th grade gym class gave you, this program will help get you there.