Some people need motivation to work out. External accountability to make sure they get some movement into their day. That’s one of the main reasons I’m able to make a living teaching people how to do squats and down dogs. Then there are people like me. We need to try really hard to NOT work out. Taking a rest day is one of the most mentally challenging things we do all week. A friend of mine joked that she was going to try to take it easy this week except she “accidentally” found herself on the treadmill. As if people just trip and land on a treadmill and start running. Not really. But sometimes it kinda feels like that. . .

If this sounds absurd to you, keep reading anyway.

Especially if you DO not particularly like working out. Because I’ve got some stuff that’s gonna make you feel better about sitting at a coffee shop eating little vanilla bean coconut cookies right now. Or is that just me?

Yep. That’s definitely me right now.

Even though I’m definitely feeling a little twinge of guilt for not doing what I’d consider a “real” workout today. Thoughts about all the things I “should” be doing are going through my head right now. You too?

Stop SHOULDING all over yourself.

Now read that fast and say it out loud. Heheheheheh. 😉

Go ahead. Laugh it out. Because there’s a good chance that the soundtrack playing in your head sounds a lot like mine. And it’s RIDICULOUS. As I read it, I know I can be ridiculous. If my mom or sister read this post, I know they will call me later and be like “Jenna, you are ridiculous.” 

But this is what so many of us have been conditioned to think is NORMAL.

Especially for those of us who work and play in what I like to call “fit communities”. There are yoga challenges to see how many classes you can get in. Contests among co-workers to see who can get in the most steps. And for those of us who consider ourselves to be athletes, (or in my case, a kind-of-retired professional dancer) we are used to a grueling physical day. Long rehearsals/practices, plus class and cross training, plus work (which usually includes teaching or coaching of some kind), is the norm. Anything less than that feels like a lazy vacation.

I love a good vacation. For like a day. Then some pretty nasty thoughts start to creep in. For me, working my a$$ off is how I managed to make a career out of being a dancer. To this day, hustling to teach and train all over town(s) is the way that I get to do what I love and pay my bills while avoiding having to work a 9-5 desk job. So in my brain’s twisted way of thinking, I need to keep my body moving if I want to continue to be successful. I need to stay strong. Stay flexible. Stay in the same size pants I’ve worn for years. So when I don’t work out for a few days, I suddenly start to question my work ethic. My worth in my chosen field. My attractiveness. Even my morality. You too?

This is how diet culture gets us.

When we’re feeling the most insecure, we’re the most vulnerable. It’s easier to get sucked into some sort of weird “it’s not a diet it’s a lifestyle” plan where you can eat as much as you want as long as you stick to certain foods at specific ratios and times.  Or doing some sort of group fat loss challenge where the exercises are so intense that you wind up getting injured. Soon you find yourself posing for before/after photos and wondering either A: Why not much has changed since you started. Or B: Why so much has changed, but you still feel as $hitty about yourself as ever.

Here are some truths you need to remind yourself.

Because the truth is, if you’ve been living with these kinds of destructive thoughts for most of your life, it’s really hard to get them to go away. I’ll let you know in a few years, but I think it’s safe to say that they probably never entirely disappear entirely . The way to manage them, is to call them out for what they are. Acknowledge how outlandish they actually are when you shine a light on them. Then do your best to move the hell on with your day.

This applies to you, too.  Whether you are feeling should-y for not working out for one day or a whole decade.

So the next time you’re feeling guilty for dozing off in your yoga class (yes, I sometimes do this), remember these things:

Your body is not going to drastically change from one or two missed workouts.

It takes major effort and consistency to create change. And when that change comes to your body, genetics often play a bigger role than you may think. One missed workout is not going to break you.

Even if it did, why do we think this is the worst thing?

I knowwww I’m a fitness professional. I think I’m supposed to sell you on the fact that your body is wrong? Then you’ll buy classes or a training package so I can “fix” you. But seriously, have you ever thought about it? Why do so many of us think that gaining weight or getting out of shape is the worst thing we could ever do in life?

Your best qualities have NOTHING to do with your appearance.

Or your fitness level for that matter. Don’t believe me? Ask 10 people you love and trust what your best qualities are. I can almost guarantee it’s not your peach emoji shaped butt or how long you can hold a plank.

Being someone who works out does not make you morally “better” than someone who doesn’t.

Can I be honest here? I used to secretly feel like I was “better than” other people who didn’t work out. Ouch. But why? Why did I think that? Why do we as a society think that way? If you still kinda do too, don’t blame yourself. Blame diet culture. Then start questioning the $hit out of it.

Not working out does not make you a bad person.

It’s worth saying again. There are things I just don’t do. Like math. And waking up before 6am. If we were all amazing at doing burpees who would help me do my taxes? We all have our individual strengths. Own yours. You can work on the things you want to get better at, but’s okay to let the rest go. I promise you’re good at other stuff.

When you say no to working out, you automatically make room to say yes to something else.

Celebrate that as a win! What did you do? Get an extra hour of sleep? Spend time with friends or family? Finally clean your bathroom? As much as we wish we could do ALL THE THINGS, it’s not always realistic.

Some people adapt differently to different types of movement.

Stop comparing yourself to others. I’m high energy. It takes a lot to wear me out. But, my achilles heel is running. Literally. These days, anytime I try to run too much I screw up my achilles and my hamstring. One of my good friends has run about a bajillion marathons. Like Amy Poehler once wisely said, “Good for her, not for me.”

Being able to have the choice to work out is a privilege and a gift.

Mmmmhhmmmm. I just went there with the “p” word. It’s uncomfortable, I get that. But really, if you’ve ever experienced a time when you were too sick or injured to exercise, you know what that feels like. To be able to move freely, to walk, to run, to dance, is a gift that many of us take for granted.

The best form of exercise is the one you actually like doing.

Lately I hear a lot of people talking about how they just love going for walks as exercise. That it’s the “best thing for you”. Meh. I’ll be honest–I get bored with walking. Especially if it’s not on a gorgeous beach. I’m sure some of you probably feel the same way about yoga (which I happen to love). If you don’t like a certain form of movement, you don’t have to give yourself a guilt trip. Just pick literally anything else to do.

The highlight reel is real. Let go of comparison.

We all post the best of ourselves on social media. If you look at mine, you probably think that my life is an endless parade of teaching dance, yoga, and fitness, taking pictures with my adorable dog, and writing inspirational quotes. What you don’t see is the part where I sat in my pajamas with bedhead and unbrushed teeth for most of the morning. Everyone does it. Even that girl who always takes pictures of herself in a sports bra at the gym.

Just like being an athlete, there are seasons for everything.

There may be times in your life when your fitness is your main focus. There will be other times when you aren’t as active because you have other things that are more important. Life happens. You can always switch gears. Redirect. Come back to it when you’re ready. Even seasoned athletes aren’t in peak form at all times. You aren’t expected to be, either.

All exercise is not inherently healthy.

So many of us claim to focus on exercise purely in the name of health. When in reality, it might be more like 20% for our health and 80% for the pursuit of visible abs. But not all exercise is inherently healthy. Like when you wake up after 5 hours of sleep to go to the gym. Or when you know you have a bad knee and insist on running anyway. Examining your true motivation for doing something can be really eye opening.

Your body is not your gift to the world.

But I bet you have some really amazing gifts and talents that have nothing to do with that! You do not exist solely for the viewing pleasure of others. Even models have other redeeming qualities. AND wouldn’t it be great to live in a world where all of us could find ourselves represented in models who looked just like us?  In any case, remember that you are so much more than your pants size.

I hope you found these reminders helpful. Whether you tend towards overexercising, or struggle to get yourself to the gym, you don’t need to beat yourself up every time you miss a workout. Feel free to comment below if you resonated with any of this. Or check out my classes and services if you wish the fitness professionals in your life understood your struggles the way I do. 🙂

Wanna get better at push-ups? Whether you’re trying to get your first one without using your knees, training to beat the entire patriarchy in a push-up contest, or just create better memories around push-ups than 5th grade gym class gave you, this program will help get you there.